Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Brightest Day #14, The Final Rant?

Overall: Hide the women and children, it's time for yet another Brightest Day review!!! Deadman(or if you prefer, Aliveman)rushes through Gotham to find Batman since he's decided(for reasons unknown)that Batman MUST be who the White Lantern Ring has been searching for. So Deadman interrupts a robbery and forces the ring to join with Bats. When this happens Deadman gets shot by some thug. Bet you wish you kept the White Ring now, don't ya smart guy? From there Deadman begins to relive moments from his past and decides he doesn't want to be dead anymore, even though he's been bitching about being alive since this godforsaken series began. Make up your frigging mind, man! Once Deadman decides he wants to live again, the ring returns to him and scolds him for trying to pass his White Lantern duties off to Batman. You know, if I had that annoying-ass ring on my finger I think I'd rather stay dead... Batman doesn't bother to stick around to discover what the flaming hell had just happened(probably because he realized this comic sucked too), but does seem to remember who Max Lord was after his contact with the White ring. Oh, and Deadman and Dove begin swapping spit for some reason.

Well, that's it for me folks! I am finished! I just can't take it anymore! My well of forgiveness in regards to this series has FINALLY run dry. Yes, you read that correctly, my well of forgiveness is dry!!! This is the LAST Brightest Day review I will EVER post! Yep, the last......... Oh who am I kidding? We ALL know that isn't true. Yes, I dread reading this series. I hate ALL of the stories running through it. ALL of them! Whenever I buy a new issue I die just a little bit more on the inside. BUT, I have a BLAST ripping it! I mean, it's almost cathartic for me. So while I'm actually reading this junk, I'm a very angry individual, but tearing it to pieces on this blog actually makes it all worthwhile! So I'm done trying to look at this series objectively. I'm just going to read the rest of the series, curse myself for wasting my time/money, and then write the most sarcastic and scathing review I possibly can. So there you go. You've been duly warned. From this point forward, it's open season on Brightest Day, and I am coming after it in a goddamn tank, baby!

Score: 0 out of 10.If a magical ring appeared on my finger and made me dress like that I'd scream too!

8 comments:

  1. Haha, oh man...the ironic thing here is that you've made such a case for buying this comic just to rip on it, that I want to go buy it so I can do the same! From the sounds of it this series is completely nonsensical, so I'd imagine I could start with any issue...since it would be just as confusing whether I'd read the preceding issues or not!

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  2. Yeah I agree with Marc bad idea. Waste of money. By the way I'm not doing those crazy blogs I used to do. I'm gonna start being more like you guys more shall we say quality blogs. So can you read my five pt. blog series on Marvel heroes I think you'd really like it. So please when you have the time take a stroll through my pg.

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  3. Exactly Marc! The whole story is a waste anyway, so it's like any point is a good jumping on point! But I def wouldn't recommend wasting your money on this junk. Although I wouldn't mind seeing you pick up just one issue and just going to town on it! :D

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  4. Hide ya kids, Hide ya wives! Ya missed ya chance to say it X!!! As for this comic, it's a joke, guess I'm the only one still waiting for a punchline.

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  5. ... DAMMIT! How the hell did I forget that! Ugh... If I say it now I don't think it would have the same impact...

    See, I always thought jokes were funny. If this is a joke, why aren't I laughing? :P

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  6. Lol because it's a BAD joke, it's like why did the chicken cross the road. It's not funny at all, yet people continue to use it.

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  7. HA! Awesome point, JT! I always wondered why that was considered a joke. Wouldn't that be more a riddle or something? I mean who laughs when they hear that?!

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  8. Right? Well hell would it even be a riddle? I don't know what to classify that thing as, but it's NOT funny! Lol

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